Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Top Ten Strategies on How to Deal with Difficult People


The Word of God reminds us, that we should “Be very careful, then, how live - not unwise but as wise, making every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what Lord’s will is” (Ephesians 5:17-17).

Our life is really full of mystery and questions, on how we can build and improve our life to the fullest heights of improvement. In this world, if we did not continue on polishing ourselves, we will be put behind in the careers of life, and we will find out lately, that we are no longer belong to the first class group of individuals.

Especially we are in the globalization age, and the demand of time is too great, and the only people who can qualify in these challenges are those individuals who keep on watching and keep on improving their being.

Why we should to continue improving ourselves? And what was the purpose of it?

God said: Build a better world. "I asked, How? the world is such a big place, cold and complicated, I'm too young. There's little I can do." But God in all His wisdom said: JUST BUILD A BETTER YOU."

We need to improve ourselves because in this world, we have a lot of competitors, as well as people who are trying to put us down in the arena of life. They exert all their efforts and use a honey words in order to put their victims in their trap. I think we should give more attention and tactful in dealing with them because these groups of individuals are hazardous, dangerous as well as poisonous. They are like a virus that trying to fry their victims alive that even the medical surgeon cannot help them heal their diseased and had experienced difficulty in curing the poisons and scars of those victims.

The crimes of their tongues are words of unkindness, of anger, of malice, of envy, of bitterness, of harsh criticism, gossip, lying and scandal.

According to William George Jordan, theft and murder are awful crimes, in any single years the aggregate sorrow, pain and suffering, they cause in a nation is microscopic when compared with the sorrows that come from the crimes of the tongue. At the hands of their thief’s or murderers few of us suffer even indirectly. But from the careless tongue of friend, the cruel tongue of envy, who is free?

He continued and commented “no human being can live a life so true, so fair, so pure as to be beyond the reach of malice, or immune from the poisonous emanations of envy. The insidious attacks against one’s reputation, the loathsome innuendoes, slurs, half-lies by which jealous mediocrity seeks to ruin its superiors, are like those insect parasites that kill the heart and life of a mighty oak.”

Finally he lamented, "so cowardly is the method, so stealthy the shooting of the poisoned thorns, so insignificant the separate acts in their seeming, that one is not on guard against them. It is easier to dodge an elephant than a microbe.”

So how can we protect ourselves against them before they will knock us down?

Below are the strategies and tips. Read them carefully and apply it to yourself, dear readers. Use it as your shields and weapons against them. I’d written it here, so that you will not be the next victims of these hazardous, poisonous toxic individuals. I’ll pray to God that may this article, may give you a great help as well as source of guidance to your daily living as well as progress in life and lead it to bring you closer and nearer to Him.

1. Nurture your character. For your character will be your only and best weapon to close the mouth against the evil-tongues of your enemies. For your character will cover and protect your reputation.

2. Be an open-minded person. Give enough time and space to lend your ears and analyze their point of view. If you’d think there is no sense in their words, ask them with this question: Do you think that I need a critic right now?

3. Control as well as manage your tongue and temper. Keep on silence and watch on them. Remember there is a great power in silence. It will make your opponent to feel distressing, embarrassing, unpleasant, uncomfortable, and ill at ease.

4. Close your eyes and ears. Close your eyes and ears against the negative, toxic someone that shall open his mouth secretly against you. If you receive not his words, they fly back and wound him. If you receive them, they fly forward, and wound you!

5. Never to criticize them. Criticizing it only marks, shows as well as acknowledges that you are an inferior person. Always bear in mind that a wound from a tongue is worst than a wound from the swords. For latter affects only the body; the former affects the spirit. Always remember to be patient in dealing with people for you are not dealing with a people of logic but you are dealing with a people of emotions, too!

6. Show to them your kindness and love. I’ve learned these secrets that the noble way to destroy an enemy is not to kill him but with kindness you may change him that he shall cease to be so, and then he is slain.

7. Be humble always. I’ve learned these new knowledge and wisdom that we cannot control the evil tongue of others but a good life enables us to disregard them.

8. Expect always that there is a traitor. In my 26 years stayed in this planet earth, I’ve learned that no one is safe from gossip and slander. The best way is to pay no attention to it, but live in a humble as well as in innocence and let the world speak. But for those who are fun of planting a fire…do what you like but pay for it! For God said, Vengeance is mine!

9. List down all your weaknesses and eliminate it daily. Every human being has their own strength and weaknesses. So starting today, examine as well as evaluate your being. List down all your weaknesses and promise to yourself that you should try with all thy might to eliminate step by step all thy weaknesses. By doing it so, you will become the master of yourself!

10. Keep on praying and Trusting in God. For with men everything is impossible but with God nothing is impossible. And always recall these words, again and again to yourself: When you are at your weakest, God is in His greatest. So, don’t worry, be happy. You can if Think You can!

For those who are fun of planting a fire, think of these carefully:

The great teacher of all times, the Lord Jesus Christ revealed to us that our words are important. In the book of Matthew 12:36-37, Jesus exclaimed “But I tell you that men will have to give account on the Day of Judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted and by your words you will be condemned” (NIV).

James, the disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ, asserted that “If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless” (James 1:26 NIV).

Always recall these dear readers, the clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop; at late or early hour. Now is the only time you own. Live, love, work with a will. Place no faith in tomorrow, for the clock of life may then be still.

For thousands of men breathe move and live pass off the stage of life and are heard no more. Why? They did not give a particle of good in the world. None were blessed by them. None could point to them as the instrument of their redemption. Their light went out in darkness and they were not remembered more than insects of yesterday. Will you live and die? Live for something!

Remember your life is like a vapor that appears for a moment and then disappears! Therefore use your life as an instrument of encouragement and instrument of inspiration to them.

Instead of giving a stings to your neighbors or to your co-workers, why not encourage thyself to give them a honey? Why not encourage thyself to say these words when you are alone:

Dear Lord, make me an instrument of your peace; Where there is hatred, let me show love; Where there is injury, pardon; Where there is doubt, faith; Where there is despair, hope; Where there is darkness, light Where there is sadness, joy; Where there is an idle tongue, help me to keep away from them.

Before I’ll conclude, I would like to leave a special message for you, dear readers.

If you plant honesty, you will reap trust.
If you plant goodness, you will reap friends.
If you plant humility, you will reap greatness.
If you plant perseverance, you will reap victory.
If you plant consideration, you will reap harmony.
If you plant hard work, you will reap success.
If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation.
If you plant openness, you will reap intimacy.
If you plant patience, you will reap improvements.
If you plant faith, you will reap miracles.


If you plant dishonesty, you will reap distrust.
If you plant selfishness, you will reap loneliness.
If you plant pride, you will reap destruction.
If you plant envy, you will reap trouble.
If you plant laziness, you will reap stagnation.
If you plant bitterness, you will reap isolation.
If you plant greed, you will reap loss.
If you plant gossip, you will reap enemies.
If you plant worries, you will reap wrinkles.
If you plant sin, you will reap guilt.

So be careful what you plant now, it will determine what you will reap tomorrow.

Wish you many blessings to come and God Bless!

Moises Reconalla

About The Author

Moises P. Reconalla is the School Guidance Counselor, College Instructor and Working Students Supervisor at North Davao College, Panabo City, Philippines.

He has taught several courses at the college including: Guidance and Counseling, General Psychology, Philippine History: Roots and Development, General Anthropology and Sociology, and Dr. Jose Rizal: Life, Works & Writings.

You can send your comments about this Article through his email

All rights reserved worldwide. Copyright 2007 by Moises Padin Reconalla

NOTE: You're free to republish this article on your website, in your newsletter, in your e-book or in other publications provided that the article is reproduced in its entirety, including the author information.

Article Source: